Preparing · 6 May 08
Oh hi there. Probably thought I’d forgotten about this silly site, didn’t you. Yes, I’ve been busy, swamped with work (huge project I wish I could tell you about but I think it’s best that I stay identity-agnostic here) and planning a big move. No, not for me… for my partner. And, well, that’s kind of why I’m posting this.
We’ve been together for some time now, and the past 6 months apart have been torture. Luckily for me, she’s decided to move away from SLC (well, she’s excited to get the hell out of there too) and she’ll be joining me up north. And of course we’re in it for the long haul. And my family loves her. And I do as well. So everything should be awesome, no?
Well, it is, except for one not-so-awesome bit for my still-mormon immediate family: she’ll be moving in with me. My family lives largely in denial of my apostasy, preferring to think that I’m simply “struggling” or “inactive.” While my stomach would show proof of some sort of inactivity (I really need to exercise), I am in no way struggling. I’m happier than I’ve been in years, and the addition of my love to my daily life again is set to blow the happiness metre through the roof. But of course, the TBM half of the family are “concerned for [my] welfare.”
It’s strange to think that talk of me living with a woman I love causes concern and uproar, yet previous bouts with depression and chronic illness were looked at as “he’s tired” or “he’s sick.” It seems that only when I offend the delicate mormon sensibilities am I worth worrying about.
I guess on another level I’m preparing for the shit to hit the fan, in that this level of “sin” could be angled as an offence great enough to expunge my name from church records. Or at very least cause lots of annoying phone calls and attempts at contact from local church leaders. I’ve avoided removing my name from church records for a while because of my fear of what it would do to my poor mother, but I’ve set some ultimatums for myself as to when I’ll kick myself out of the church:
- If Boyd K Packer becomes president, I write my letter that day.
- Before I marry my aforementioned love.
Both events are in the coming years. BKP is next in line (if he survives), and my lady and I plan on marrying sometime in the next few years (no rush). The BKP clause is easy to understand for most ex-mos: he’s simply abhorrent. But why before marriage, which would seemingly be the event that would keep the LDS from kicking me out?
Well, she and I had a long talk about how my former faith and my family tie in to our future together. She laid it out like so: “Your mom needs to know where you stand before we have a wedding. She needs to know that you’re not coming back and that we have no plans on allowing our future family to be a part of the mormon church.” While she never stipulated my resignation, and she’s played no role in my exiting belief and the church, that stipulation really lit a fire under my ass. She’s right… no point in living in fear of what my mother or family would say.
Of course I’m not about to go and write that letter today. I have a site to build… ;)
Been A While · 9 January 08
Okay, so you may be wondering where I’ve disappeared to and where the hell this new site is hiding as well. Progress on the MA site and where I’ve been happen to be directly related: I moved.
I’m now living in a new state, with a new job, and far far fewer free hours than I previously had. The nightmare that is interstate moving effectively put a freeze on coding the site, and since getting set up at my new place, my dev machine has been a bit quirky (plus, who wants to work on a 4 year old machine when you have a new macbook pro from work to play with?).
That being said, the project is not dead, but I may have to rescope and rethink how I’m going to deliver the site. My major hold up is that I’ve never built a search engine before, and I don’t know enough about Django/Python to just crank it out. The underlying system to power the site is pretty much there (I think), but search really is the killer app here, so progress really is stunted. Add in the full work schedule and a few left over freelance bits, and yeah… talk about back-burner.
Aside from the technoid details, I have to say living outside of the morridor is as amazingly refreshing as I remembered it to be. Having a drink with your meal, expressing a liberal thought or simply acting like a sane human being without fear of judgment or reprisal is a very nice thing, indeed.
Young Woman · 25 September 07
I was recently visiting my dear mother, and the topic of names came up. You see, a family friend is having a baby very soon, and they refuse to divulge the name they have chosen for the baby—ostensibly to avoid having someone say something to ruin that name for them. Someone in the group started listing off names as we cherry-picked the better (or perhaps more likely) ones. My sister then suggested including “church names”... you know, the typical Utahn choices from the Bible, Book of Mormon, General Authorities and, sadly enough, church manuals (I’ve heard of someone naming their son Quorum). I guess I should be glad people haven’t graduated to using the Pearl of Great Price for names. I can’t imagine the pain that Kae-e-vanrash Smith or Ha-ko-kau-beam Christensen will go through, not just in life, but when they realise their names are nothing more than gibberish. But I digress.
“Book of Mormon”-sourced names were being offered up, and inevitably Alma was mentioned.
“Yeesh, I hope not,” I offered. Now, we’d had a family friend during my youth that was named Alma, and he was a nice fellow. However, I think my mother assumed I was referring to him.
“Why not?” she asked. I suddenly realised I’d placed myself in a predicament: interjecting something that makes mormonism look foolish without drawing attention to my so-called “church inactivity.” I tread lightly.
“Well, did you know Alma means ‘little girl’ or something like that?” I offered. “I’m not sure in what language,”—it’s Hebrew, almah, and it’s actually young woman—“but someone told me that on my mission. Apparently it’s a fairly common name for girls in France.” By feigning the “oh someone told me this” ignorance I’d managed to deflect suspicious looks and keep things open. I can’t tell you how many times TBM family members have effectively stopped listening to me when I state something—anything—definitively.
“Really?” my sister questioned, face squished in confusion.
“Yeah… in fact, there were quite a lot of streets named ‘Alma’ on my mission. It confused me… I mean there aren’t exactly a lot of members in [the place I served]. At least it confused me ‘til someone set me straight.”
And the brilliant, TBM retort to this new information? “Huh… interesting.” I wanted to yell out “Oh yeah! And the Book of Abraham, you know they found that like 40 years ago, and it’s been translated by Egyptologists, and they say it’s an egyptian funerary text, and it post-dates Abraham by 2000 years!” But I had the common sense to quit while I was ahead. After all, I’d received a few strange looks earlier when I’d offered far more information about the new missionary policy of living with members1 (more on that later) than a completely “inactive member” would be likely to have.
I can only hope someone there at least stored away this new information instead of forgetting it the instant after I said it.
1 I was shocked at how confused and distrusting my family looked in regard to the news of missionaries living with members. They couldn’t seem to grasp any reason why that would be a good idea (they had plenty of reasons why it would be an awful idea). My interjection that it was a money-saving maneuver (“Have to pay for that mall somehow!”) was perhaps my most blatant post-mormon ribbing to date. I’m just glad no one called me on it.
Discussion: [1]
Status Update: Infrastructure · 29 August 07
I just thought I’d update to tell you that I’ve begun the coding of the application that will power MormonAnswers.com, AnswerBase. For you technically inclined, the application is written in Python using the Django framework. After some initial set up issues on my development machine, I got Django and PostgreSQL running, and today busted out the main article and tagging code. I’m shocked at how easy it has been. Django is awesome, and the prebuilt admin backend renders me speechless. If you’re a web dev, I highly recommend picking up Django. Now to figuring out how to build a highly effective search engine, and then the fun parts: data entry and front end UI work. Given that I am a UI designer, the latter shouldn’t be too bad.
The data entry, however… *shudder*
(I’m also wondering about creating a pingable address for select bloggers to auto-add their content to the database, ala pinging technorati… but that may be a bit over the top.)
Testimony · 17 August 07
“Every time I’m out and I see the outline of someone’s temple garments underneath the collar of their shirt, I start to feel hot. I mean, especially in this weather. I can’t see someone else with that many layers of clothing on without feeling suffocated.”
“Is it like a burning sensation?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“And your whole chest seems to fill up with pressure?”
“Right, because I can’t imagine how uncomfortable they must feel.”
“That’s not empathy, Jon. That’s the Holy Ghost.”
Can I just take a second to say how much I love Dooce ? I wish I could be that witty and smart about something that overwhelmed my childhood.